Friends and Relationships

Making friends

During your stay at UQ you will have opportunities to meet a lot of Australian people but you may find that it is not so easy to become good friends with them.

Australians smile a lot, they joke and are eager to talk, but this does not always mean that they want to be close friends. They may even be friendly without necessarily expecting a friendship to develop.

When making friends, someone has to take the first step and it usually takes time and effort for a friendship to develop. Friendships take time to grow - don't let a few disappointing experiences discourage you from making close, lasting friendships. Try to take advantage of any opportunity to meet people, for example in tutorial groups, through where you live, in classes, in clubs or at campus events such as film nights, rock concerts, etc.

The UQ Union has a number of clubs and societies on campus that you can join. You can also join Mates@UQ and engage with other students a different social and sporting events. These are open to all UQ students and registration is FREE.

There are a number of sports, leisure and interest groups outside University that you may like to know about. Visit UQ Sport or contact the International Student Advisers for more info.

Living together

There are a variety of domestic relationships and living arrangements in Australia. Young Australians usually have a period of independent living, after they move out of their parents' home, and before living with their spouse or 'partner'. It is common for young people to leave home, with their parents' approval, at 17 or 18 years of age. In rare instances, young people in conflict with parents may move out even younger. They tend to share flats with friends of either sex.

Young people may enter into sexual relationships without any future planning or thoughts about marriage. Parents may not like those situations but living together before marriage is very common. Sometimes two women or men are living together in a gay or lesbian relationship.

Maintaining your own values and standards

Students usually appreciate that people have choices in terms of traditional versus non-traditional relationships and living situations. Maintaining your own personal standards in relation to shared housing and sexual relationships is a reliable guide. It is unacceptable for anyone to force or put pressure on another to behave in ways with which they are not comfortable, and there is a university policy against any type of sexual harassment.

The word 'partners'

When people are married they tend to introduce their spouse as my ?husband' or ?wife'. Couples who are living together introduce each other as their ?partner'. When two friends are just sharing a house or flat, they tend to introduce the other person as their 'flatmate' or 'house mate'.

Going out together (Dating)

In the past, it was the general rule that the one person paid all the expenses of the date. Now, most men and women will offer and expect to pay their own way.

Some students prefer to go out in groups rather than in pairs. Many students meet each other at social or university related activities.

In Australia, a young couple over the age of 15 years is usually not chaperoned (accompanied by an older person) when they go somewhere together.

At the end of the evening, your date may invite you into his/her place for a drink. It is possible that the invitation may or may not suggest more than just coffee. You are the best judge as to whether to accept or to decline the invitation.

Traditionally, men in Australia have been expected to take the initiative in establishing relationships with women. In the past, the woman was encouraged to express her interest indirectly. It is now likely that a man or a woman will show their interest in beginning a relationship. The relationship between two people may lead to a casual friendship, a friendship or a romantic relationship.

Things to do

There are a lot of things that a young woman and man can do together if they like each other and want to become good friends. For example: having a cup of coffee at a University cafe; going for a walk or going shopping; studying in either of their places of residence or in the library; sharing a meal in either of their residences or going to a restaurant for dinner; going to a movie, lecture, exhibition, sports event, concert or theatre; going to a party or a dance, having a picnic or walking through a museum or art gallery.

Breaking a date

To break a date (or to "stand someone up") means to fail to keep your appointment with the other person. It is impolite and inconsiderate to "break a date" without telling the other person beforehand. Tell the other person if you know that you cannot make the date.

Changing plans for a date does not present the same problems as breaking a date. If you have agreed to go to a movie and then decide that a party would be preferable, it is acceptable to call the other person and propose the change in plans.

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